Sher's

11) Glossy red toes- Ok- technically- a guy could do this, but i wouldn't recommend it for most straight guys. There is nothing better than pretty toes. Cause feet are kinda disgusting. Put these in cute flip-flops and you are good to go.

12) Silky, soft Velvety fabrics- again, a guy could wear stuff like this- but, ahem, most should not.

13) As a challenge to the guys list- Women can definately have sex without having to have feelings/relationship attatched. And without feeling like a whore. Why not? To people that say a woman like that is a whore- they can suck it. I don't buy the double standard kind of crap. Sex can be with or without emotion. Actually, its good to have both.

14) Fashion- Clothes, Shoes, hair, makeup and jewelry. Largely more women oriented. I love this kind of stuff. Do I dress like a fashionista? No- but I wish!!!! Lovelovelove to. I would love to have as many shoes as Imelda Marcos- Is it only for females- again- no. Of course not....but mostly.

15) The Makeover- We love to re-invent ourselves. We can be refreshed and invigorated by just tweaking our style of hair cut, color, clothes, as well as household. Guys don't do this as much. They should.

Top 10 Reasons it is better to be a woman

1) Without a woman, no man would exist. Snap!

2) We have a better shot getting out of a ticket.

3) We usually end up winning an argument. If we don't you are sleeping on the couch.

4) Women are a confounding mystery to guys. Honestly, we like it that way.

5) We are the glue that holds society together.

6) Women have ruled many a country, and well. A woman could be President of the United States if y'all wouldn't be so sceered of it. Pusskits!

7) We might drive you crazy at times but we bring comfort,love and good things to your lives. You always seem to come back for more...don't you?

8) A woman does not have equipment that can "misfire" or "mechanical failures" or would otherwise need a hydraulic jack for lift off. Our equipment works fairly easily- when you know what you are doing.

9) We have a higher threshold for pain.

10) When someone calls us a bitch we take it as we are too strong for you.

More to come...for sure-

Would you rather... have all of your hair look/feel like pubes

OR

bald would be better, to me be completely bald?

fight Mike Tyson

OR

talk like him?

fight

fly when you fart

OR

pee every time you laugh?

farting is gross but less messy...

Experience life like a video game

OR

a movie?

movie sounds like more fun to me

be able to change genders at will

OR

change height at will?

I would rather be able to change genders...who cares how tall I am...

I wouldsee in ColecoVision graphic quality when having sex OR have to use clinical terms during dirty talk?
      (For example, “Penetrate that vagina!”; “Lick that mons pubis!”; “Ram that glans against the epidermis of the uvula!”)

I would hate to have to use clinical terms- so I would go with the vision....

get a blow job from a nappy rotten tooth bitch once

OR

fall asleep while having sex every time?

Since I don't get blow jobs...and I prefer quality over quantity- I would rather fall asleep- at least you would get some as well as good rest. It is a win/win although a big blow to the ego to have a partner fall asleep.
Who'd you rather? (be or do... whichever you prefer)
George Clooney or Brad Pitt? Be George & do BP
Jean-Luc Picard or Captain Kirk? Neither...
Neil Patrick Harris or Clay Aiken? Again...neither
Beyonce or Rihanna?  be Rihanna
Hillary Clinton or Barbara Bush & $10,000? Be Barbara (neither was appealing...)
Tyra Banks or Oprah? Be Oprah- for sure!!!!
Donald Trump or Donald Rumsfeld?  Whoah- be Rummy...
Rosie O'Donnell or Rosie Perez talking nonstop?  This is too hard to answer- I would have to go w Be rosie P if pressed.
Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise? Be tom hanks & Do TC- hey- you know he's gonna put his back into it:)
Johnny Depp or Harrison Ford?  Ohhhhyeaaahhh- uh, duh- Do JD
Clint Eastwood or Robert Redford? Be Clint Eastwood
Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears?  Ewwwww- Neither!  Hell No!
R.Kelly or Flavor Flav? (ick... I know...)  Same as above....
Barbara Walters or Martha Stewart?  I would rather be BW
Jay Leno or David Letterman?  I would rather be Dave- love him...but not enough to be a "do"
Jessica Simpson or Ashlee Simpson?  be Jess
Rachel Ray or Dr. Phil? be rachel ray...i know that is shocking...
What would you rather have...
Coke or Pepsi? Coke
Cookies or candy?candy
Cell phone or laptop? Laptop
SUV or hybrid compact? aww, can I cheat and say a hybrid suv???
Rain or snow? Rain for sure
Football or basketball?  Oh good god. Basketball I guess. This is like asking if I would rather eat monkey brains or boogers. Neither.
Appetizers or desserts? Appetizers love those.
Hours of geocaching or hours of awesome sex? (for Tree...lol) I am definately going to say hours of awesome sex.  Hello......

What parenting tip do you swear by?

The biggest parenting tip I have is overall a general rule I have...to not project myself onto the kids. Meaning- living vicariously through my kids, or trying to make up for the mistakes that my parents made with me (that is a tough one to avoid) and just try to see what my kids need and try to fill that need.

I try to ride the line between having too high of expectations or too low. To know when to be more strict or when to relax the rules a little. Most of all to be aware that all my kids are different and what works for one might not for the other.

I try to not parent out of guilt. Just to do what is necessary. I try to listen to them and try to get them to talk- with two teenagers in the house that is a tough one right there) and hopefully they get the fact that we care about them.

I would never win the mother of the year award. There are a lot of ways i fail as a mother. ( None of my kids have baby books- ahhh and I don't cook- my husband thankfully does.) Sure, I drop the ball a lot. The biggest parenting tip I have is to do exactly that. To admit when you make mistakes as a parent and how you try to change that. I think a lot of times parents won't do that. Say- hey- I made a mistake here. I will try to do better next time. I am sorry.

That is what I swear by...

I got to do a fun thing this weekend. I had spent some time talking to my neighbor while my daughter was out playing with hers. She has had a rough go of it for a while- financially. She is one of the most caring, hardworking overall cool people I know. As we talked, she told me that she had stocked up her freezer full of meat (she is super carnivore) having had shopped some good sales. Well, over the Memorial Day weekend they had gone away for the weekend and when she came back she discovered that the freezer had unplugged somehow and all the meat had spoiled.

She has taken hit after hit lately- and even though she still has a great trooper attitude- things were starting to get to her.

While she is very giving she never asks anyone for help- she is just proud like that.

Well- I got a wild haired idea.

I went to the store and got a huge bag-o-meat. Lots of different stuff that I know she and her 5 kids might like-

Lucky for me- she wasn't home- and I got my husband to go and stick it in her fridge & freezer. She is notorious about leaving her door unlocked- she has kind of an open door policy at her house.

I didn't want her to know that I did it. I didn't want her to feel bad or anything- or say no. She asked me if my husband saw anyone go over to her house- and told me about it. (He also had brought over a calazone for them) I told him that if she asked, don't tell.

I think she might be on to me. But, I am never going to own up to it.

Seriously- that was the most fun thing I did all week. I highly suggest it. You guys are the only ones  that know. Shush. Don't tell.

I am going to share a little more than I usually do. More personal. I hope my sis is ok with it. Uhhh- ok- where to begin...

My Mom is bi-polar and this last sunday my sister called me to say that Mom was in the emergency room thinking she was having a stroke and should we go.

I do not have a close relationship with my mom for a lot of reasons. After I spoke with Crys- I spoke pretty angry heartless words about my mom. But, as I thought about it- I could not let her be alone- no matter what and Crys and I went to the hospital.

What actually happened was that my mom had a toxic amount of Lithium in her body so they had to keep her and flush out her system with fluids and what have you. What could of happened was that she could of had a heart attack and died. She did not intend to do that- (kill herself) her memory is awful and she just got confused and took too much even though her medications are put in little pill boxes for multiple timings each day. She just has no real concept of time right now. Her arm was a little bruised and she probably fell- but we don't know for sure.

So- the doctors wanted to take her off of Lithium.

That has always done bad things for her in the past- with all out full blown mental breakdowns. So we were- and are pretty afraid of that. She has taken it for more than 25 years.  But- we are pretty confident that there have to be new & better things out there for her.

We were a little afraid that they would release her- but they took her to the psychiatric ward of the hospital to help her bridge the gaps with her medications. Thankfully- she had signed the papers to do that. Crys & I had gone to visit her a few times and she was really not doing well. And then, on Thursday I had gone to see her- right after they had transferred her to the Psych ward.

That was a pretty tough thing to do- it brought up a lot of bad childhood memories. I had visited her when I was a child and it scared the crap out of me.

This time- I am going there as a 38 year old woman.

Still is hard. She looked really tired, groggy and kind of scared.

My mom doesn't really like me a whole lot- not really- I think that I remind her a lot of my dad- and we don't see each other much, if at all. She hardly remembers my name half the time- as well as not my kids or family. There is not enough time for me to explain what has gone wrong with me and my mom. Just please, trust that usually it is best to keep a little distance.

But, when I saw her in the psych ward, she was a lot like when I was a kid- and kind of scared. I had come during a time where it was not visiting hour and I helped give a little info to the admitting guy. And then it was time to go- and she kept following me and hugging me. And then she said, "I love you and your family."

It cut me to the core.

She never says stuff like that.

I fought tears driving home. Number one because I hate to cry. Number two- because mascara would drip in my eyes and you kinda need to see to drive.

And then when i got home- I called Crys- told her what had happened- and sobbed- uncontrollably.

I suppose that it is a sad thing that some little sentence like that has that kind of effect on me. I suppose it is a sadder thing that it only happens when she is in the midst of a mental crisis.

But what the hell- who cares.

I am taking it.

And no, Crys- I am not "heartless." (smiles)

Alanis is good for the bitter-betty painful breakup song....

 

this one is good too....thanks gwen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and a classic...

How many pair of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?
Submitted by fightinggale.

I am going to have to estimate a little here. Definately over 20 pairs of shoes. I included flip flops, birkenstocks, moccasins, workout shoes, heels,boots. I wear all of them for most of the year. The exception would be the pumps/heels. I rarely if ever wear those- just special occasions. I love love love shoes. I could totally be Imelda Marcos if I had the money. The ones I wear the most? Flipflops, Birkies & my workout shoes- oh- and slip on kinda clog like shoes for work. There are tons more I want. And I get rid of the ones I do not wear-

 

This weekend was a nice sun-shiny one for us and shane spent the day outside staining the table and chairs he had bought a little while ago. So Maya, his little shadow, spent all day outside with him. She ended up playing through the fence with a little boy who lives next to us. I had been out and about running errands and when I came home Maya could of cared less.

Because of Lucas, the little boy.

This is odd for her because when I go somewhere she is right there when I come back- in hopes of a "suprise' little treats- a "tradition" Shane had started...

Anyway, Later I had to drag her in to take a bath. She kept telling me "Can't we wait a bit? I am playing with Lucas. He is INCREDIBLE!!!"

She came in once, to draw a smiley face on a blank piece of paper and asked Jade to draw a heart. I asked what was it for and she told me that it was for Lucas she loved him.

Later, I finally got her into the bath after a long drawn out good-bye to the love of Mayas life, she came in. During her bath she raved again & again about Lucas and I finally asked her what about Lucas was sooooo INCREDIBLE!!!

She told me that Lucas had hopped on ONE FOOT & BROKEN A BIG STICK IN TWO!!!! And right then, she said, "I knew I loved him."

So, to all the guys out there- who find it near to impossible to please a woman...

know that at one point, all it took to impress us, was the ability to hop on one foot & break a stick in two.

We all started out that way.

To the Mother I wish I had

I have always wanted a Mother that I could talk to

the kind of Mom that would hassle you about grades

and then over warm cookies and cold milk

talk about the day.

The kind that would share what it was like

when they were young

their hopes and dreams.

And they would encourage you to find your own.

The kind of Mother

that you have fond

memories of

qualities you love and hate

the happy and the guilt

the bonds that tie you

and sometimes smother

some kind of something to

connect.

Something to say-

that you were a part of my life

more than just the fact that I am alive.

Somehow....

To see your grandchildren

grow and share

to give them candy before dinner

sending them home hepped up.

To be able to say

to my Mother

over a cup of coffee

Thank you for what

you sacrificed

for me.

Thank you for

making me feel safe

secure.

Thank you for your love

and concern.

Thank you for teaching me

about life.

How to ride it out.

Thank you

for giving me-

a sense of myself.

I wish I could say

all this

To My Mother

but

I

cannot.